Taking Down Bob Read online

Taking Down Bob

  By Shitij Bagga

  Copyright 2012 Shitij Bagga

  Table of Contents

  Taking Down Bob

  About the Author

  Connecting with the Author

  By The Same Author

  An Excerpt from Falling

  Taking Down Bob

  Bob was the biggest and fattest guy in our hostel. And he was also the scariest because of his towering personality and the fact that he was ruthless if he ever got into a brawl. He often went overboard with enthusiasm and his idea of fun often meant someone else’s suffering. And yet we had a battle going on right now in which nobody knew which way Bob would turn. The entire hostel was scared of him and rightly so. We used to call him Psycho Bob.

  It was 2 AM in the morning and every guy in our hostel was up, with a shoe in one hand, looking for someone to beat up. Overall, we made a lot of noise every now and then but, except when in groups of three or four, no one dared to step into the dark corridors alone tonight. Not while Bob was going berserk.

  It all started around midnight when a bunch of us were celebrating Edgar’s birthday in the open and part of the celebrations included hammering him with our boots while he tried frantically to escape the charge. I had a similar experience couple of months back on my birthday. It felt like drowning.

  Tonight again, it was fun like every other birthday bash, and Edgar too got his share of beatings. Bob was also there enjoying the few blows he got to deliver on the birthday boy’s head. We were merciless and unrelenting in our special treatment to poor Edgar, but we were also mindful of avoiding causing him real harm.

  But what started as a routine brief episode of throwing shoes and slippers at one man soon went viral. As always, Bob went overboard and started hitting out at anyone who came in his reach. These victims, though scared of hitting back at Bob, in turn started going after others who were laughing at them. And so, in a matter of minutes, many more joined in and it became a total riot.

  People soon grew smarter, and they learnt the benefit of surprise attacks at unsuspecting preys. Soon enough, everyone was a predator, and everyone was a prey. Some formed groups and hid themselves in the darkness of the staircases waiting to pounce on someone. Others were in their rooms with doors slightly open looking out for a prey. But all of them were also trying to avoid confrontation with Bob.

  Bob, till sometime back, had gathered a couple of sidekicks who went along with him through the entire hostel picking on other targets but with Psycho Bob, even they could never be completely safe. It was inevitable that Bob would ultimately start turning on them, and he did, and so, it mostly became a one-man-mayhem.

  Our room was on the third floor next to the staircase but we could easily hear Bob shouting, “Oye, Oye, Oye!” repeatedly on the floor below. It was not really a shouting but more of an expression of merriment, the sound that told us that psycho mode was on and he was enjoying this very much. And we were all too familiar with this awful sound. Every now and then there was a scream from the floor below followed by a loud roar of laughter from Bob. We think he got another one.

  Meanwhile, we were having our own fun. My group got a few targets of our own and the excitement of the night’s events was growing even more.

  Once in a while, there would be loud sounds of hurried footsteps racing from the other end of the corridor towards us followed by shrieks of, “Bob’s Coming!” which would cause further panic in the assembly and people would start running for cover.

  Over the last hour or so, it had been great fun but there was one thing that we had all been missing since day one. And that was to get Bob once and for all. We were desperate to take him down and give him a taste of his own medicine. Every shoe, every foot and every fist in the hostel wanted to smash itself into Bob’s skull.

  We did have a few half-heroes sometimes who decided to take down Bob but they either chickened out at the last minute or got hammered by him instead. We were all craving to see Bob taken down, so something had to be done.

  It was my idea and I got a few of us together and explained. We all needed to go at him together. There could be no chickening out because every shoe counts. This was the only way but it wasn’t simple. We had to somehow cajole Bob into a room, catch him by surprise, throw a blanket over his head and take him down, after which everyone could get their blows in. It was agreed as a good plan but we needed something to attract Bob and to bait him into a room.

  Again, it was my idea. We could use Dan. Everyone agreed instantly.

  Dan was one of the stupidest folks we knew. And his stupidity was popular all over. One time, I had quietly entered his room at midnight (thanks to his roommates) and moved his clock forward to two minutes before his morning alarm time and vanished. Soon enough, the alarm went off and Dan got up and even went to the washroom to brush his teeth, whereupon he realized it was still dark and the joke was discovered. Another night, while he was asleep, a handful of us lifted Dan’s bed along with him, carried it out of the room and to the end of the corridor and left it there. He woke up in the morning and was left wondering how the hell he ended up there.

  But today, it was different. We spoke to Dan and explained the plan to him. All he had to do was pretend to be asleep in his bed with a blanket over his face. We would bring in Bob on the pretense of attacking Dan and once inside, someone would throw a blanket upon Bob and Dan could get the hell out of there while the rest of us took the Psycho down.

  Dan was a little apprehensive at first but finally agreed. He was a good sport.

  So, we shared our plan with a few more people on our floor and everybody liked it. We assigned people their specific roles in the massacre.

  Then, I went in search of Bob, hoping that he was in a mood to talk before my head seemed too inviting to him. I found Bob in the stairs and approached him reluctantly.

  “Hey, Bob!” I said with a big smile on my face so as to appear friendly.

  “Hey bro. Watsup?” he replied. Ok, this was encouraging.

  “Bob, we have a plan to attack a new unsuspecting target.” I said hurriedly, as if he had only a second to decide.

  “Who?”

  “Dan!” I said with a wicked laugh.

  “Dan?” he responded with a big roar of laughter. It was apparent he loved the idea.

  “Ya, we just found him asleep in his room. We are planning to attack him in his sleep. You wanna join in?”

  “Of course! Lez go bro!” Bob grunted and charged towards me.

  Seeing him rush past me and up the stairs was as if I had waved a red cloth to a crazy bull with Dan’s address printed on it in bold. I followed Bob back to our floor where we were received by others who were already in on the real plan and they nudged him to lead.

  Bob was elated at the response and started to explain to everyone again why we all were here.

  “Plan to get Dan! Plan to get Dan!” Bob started shouting like a slogan and people started cheering him. I thought I saw some of them laughing at him.

  Bob was in the lead with the rest of us following him.

  “Plan to get Dan! Plan to get Dan!” kept repeating the psycho.

  We reached Dan’s room and waited for a second. We all looked around, and then slowly opened the door and entered.

  It was not really a big deal, getting together and taking him down. What was big was the excitement of conspiracy. And the stakes were obviously high because we would not get this opportunity again. Also, if we failed, poor Dan was going to get the smashing of his life. Here, we had finally lured Bob into his own massacre and he had obviously fallen for it. We were all finally going to accomplish what we had desired for so long.

  I must clarify here that we did not hate Bob. No, no! Most of us liked him because he
was not a bad guy at heart. We did hang out with him a few times and it was all cool. We were only scared of him when he went overboard in such situations and his hand is pretty heavy after all. And today, with him going berserk hitting everyone and enjoying it more than anyone, it was different.

  But right now, there was nothing to fear. Bob was on our side, totally unsuspecting of our real motives. He was a good sport too, just like Dan. So long as Bob knows it’s a team plan to catch Dan napping, he will not change his stance and turn on any of us. He was a bigger fan of conspiracy and we knew he would go the full distance.

  So, here we are, finally ready to take Bob down after months of being scared to do this. I remember last month it was Bob’s birthday but no one had the courage to go after him. In fact, Bob himself went after many of us that night and I still remember how my head went spinning for minutes after it suffered from one of Bob’s big heaves.

  It is not for small reason that we call him Psycho Bob. He has earned it. One time, he sat on a guy for 5 minutes and the poor chap almost passed out under his 120 Kg weight. Similarly, another time he picked up one of our friends in his arms and started squeezing the life out of him. And all this was him being friendly.

  Now was the time. We all stood quietly and Bob tried to figure out which side of the bed Dan’s head was. He turned towards us one last time and whispered, “Ready?” Then he turned to Dan again, raised his boot high in the air and his eyes were about to pop out in excitement. We all looked towards each other once and then towards the psycho together and prepared for the big charge.

  Today, when I write this, I can still feel the excitement we felt at that moment. It makes me want to stop and reflect on how we humans feel fear and excitement, both at the same time. How exciting it can be to fight your fear, get people together and plot a scheme to realize a common goal.

  Many thoughts come to mind. Thoughts like fearlessness, trust, team-work, intelligence, leadership and also cowardice. Dan was fearless and trusted us with raising the alarm at the right time. It was team-work on the part of the rest of us to ensure we all followed our common plan. Those who had to throw the blanket over Bob understood their role in the team’s ultimate goal. Two guys were entrusted with the task of toppling the big man down on to the floor so that it would be easier for people to attack him better. It was intelligence on our part to come up with such a conspiracy to take down the enemy and leadership on my part in particular to lead the entire scheme the way it went.

  And I come to the final point of cowardice. It does sound cowardly for so many people to plan together to take down one guy. But when you consider that we were all a bunch of 18 year olds having fun late at night in our college hostel, it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks. It’s just a sort of a game, one of hundreds that we have played during our years at the hostel. Good and bad, right and wrong, bravery and cowardice don’t really matter there. Everything happens in the spur of the moment.

  It was also the spur of the moment which drove what happened next that night.

  Bob had turned towards us one last time and whispered, “Ready?”

  We all looked towards each other once and then towards the psycho together and prepared for the big charge.

  I don’t know how it happened, but we all suddenly turned and, as if on cue, ran out of the room. The entire room cleared out in matter of seconds and when we stopped outside and turned around, only Bob was still in the room. There was a loud thud, then someone screaming with pain and Bob shouting, or rather expressing his merriment, “Oye, Oye, Oye!!”

  “Ya,” I thought with disappointment, “we didn’t think this through.”

  ####

  About the Author

  Shitij Bagga (born 29 August 1983) grew up in New Delhi, India. Reading books is his favorite pastime and talking and blogging about them his second favorite. He loves to read, P.G. Wodehouse, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Stephen Fry simply because their writings amaze him. He believes, “Books support us in our solitude and keep us from being a burden to ourselves.” He is also deeply passionate about writing.

  Connect with the Author

  E-mail: [email protected]

  My Blog: https://shitijbagga.net

  Twitter: @shitijbagga

  By the Same Author

  Short stories:

  Falling

  If you enjoyed reading Taking Down Bob, you will love Falling by the same Author.

  An Excerpt from Falling

  He stood on the terrace of his eighteen-storey apartment building, inching closer and closer to the edge. He looked down at the short gap between his foot and the edge of the floor beyond which lay the great fall.

  This side of the terrace had no wall, absolutely nothing to hold on to for support.

  You need this, Roy.

  He looked down one last time and then raised his head back up and gazed straight across the city. The view was brilliant this time of the evening. The sun was touching the horizon, the sky was switching between shades of orange, and far in the distance a flock of birds swam through the ocean of the sky in an immaculate V formation. He wondered how flying felt to the birds as gusts of cool wind brushed against his body, causing him to shiver slightly and his clothes to flutter backwards as if the wind was sent to drive him back from the edge.